Thursday, 29 August 2013

Five alternative ways for Arsenal to spend £70 million

A lot has been said and written about Arsenal's lack of spending in the transfer market. We have reportedly made offers for several high profile players such as Higuain, Suarez and Cabaye, but so far, despite calls to spend some f***ing money, Arsene Wenger has been unable to get rid of that huge wad of cash that's burning a hole in his pocket and the only signings have been Flamini and Sanogo, both on free transfers.

Many suggestions of players that they could sign have been made, but I think that's lacking imagination, so here are ten alternative ways that Arsenal could spend some of that £70 miliion:

  1. Use Champagne to water the pitch at the Emirates Stadium.
  2. Cover the face of the famous clock in gold leaf and encrust the numerals with diamonds.
  3. Buy an island in the Caribbean and set up a league there with just one team in it so that we can win the league every year.
  4. Buy Swindon Town - the whole town, not just the football club.
  5. Buy a week's supply of hair gel for Mikel Arteta.

But what do you think? Can you come up with something better?

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